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Great sex is one of the highest forms of communication, and great communication is one of the highest compliments you can give to your partner, and to yourself, when it comes to sex. It is also absolutely vital to the enjoyment of sex. But how and where to start, and find common language? Contact me if you want to put pleasure and power into your pillow talk.
Confidence is a key ingredient of good sex but can be problematic to embody. Past negative sexual experiences, religious beliefs, and intrusive thoughts related to feelings of inadequacy among other things inhibit and compromise our ability to try new things, be innovative, be creative and assertive, and keep us doing (or not doing) what feels familiar, even if it is dissatisfying. Contact me if you are tired of feeling insecure in your sexual interactions, and want to be the lover you’ve been waiting for.
“He has no idea I’ve been faking orgasms …There is no way I can tell her I’m fantasizing about our neighbor when we’re having sex … I constantly worry about losing my erection.” Talking about sex is like reading a book together. Some couples only read the cover or make it through the first few pages, never getting the full story. How far are you into your book? Are there chapters you are reading alone? Contact me if you want to find the courage to keep turning the pages together.

Are you coming too fast? Too slow? In some settings but not others? Not at all (and/or faking it)? No other sexual experience is pursued with greater desire, and more vulnerable to judgment if, when, and now we climax. It’s a peak experience like no other, and an essential ingredient for intimacy, partnership, emotional and physical health, and overall satisfaction of life. Contact me if you want to optimize your “O”.

Good sex doesn’t happen if either partner is turned “off”, or you have gotten into a rut of resentment, indifference, or are just plain bored with same old thing. You both may want sex, theoretically, but both of you have lost the key to the bedroom. Contact me if you want help finding it, or replacing the lock with a new set of keys.

Consensual non-monogamy, polyamory, and other non-conventional relationship structures have become socially more acceptable – with little to no historical and cultural roadmaps to support their success. Contact me if you are contemplating or pursuing alternative relationship styles, and want help navigating the open waters.

Self-exploration, discovery and pleasuring through masturbation is a natural and normal aspect of human sexual behavior, but still carries a lot of stigma. Maybe you can’t shake the feeling you’ve had as a child when your parent happened to catch you touching yourself, or made an insensitive comment. Maybe you feel you are “doing it too much”, or in ways you are ashamed of. Contact me if you want to take matters into your hands.

If you and your partner have chosen to be monogamous, you are hopefully enjoying its many benefits – emotional security, low risk of sexually transmitted disease, socio-cultural approval, familiarity. But “domesticated sex” (Esther Perel) can have its downsides, turning sex into a perfunctory routine with little or no sexual intimacy at all. Contact me if your relationship has lost erotic vitality, and you want to make music with monogamy.

“I wished he would look me in the eyes during sex and tell me I’m beautiful … I want him to be a man … I wished he would just do it.” When female clients share statements like these in session, their male partners often look a bit confused and forlorn. What does she want? What does it mean to be “a man” –  as a partner, in the wake of women’s liberation, automation of traditional masculine roles, and changing gender identities? Contact me if you are tired of guessing, or being kicked where it counts.

Tired of being the one who always initiates sex? Feeling bad about saying no to your partner more often than not, or giving in just to get it over with? Contact me if the idea of having or getting sex gives you a headache, and you want to transform initiation, and sex, into the pleasurable art that it is.

Sex and intimacy are intrinsically intertwined but not always perfectly matched. Sometimes one is flowing without the other, and that may work, for some time. But neither can be without the other for too long, or the foundation of a romantic partnership starts to erode. Contact me if your sex needs intimate balance, and your intimacy the meshing of sex.

Sexual dissatisfaction is not the only reason for infidelity, but one to take seriously if you want to avoid the upheaval of an affair. Contact me if you or your partner have withdrawn from the relationship, are no longer sexually intimate, are secretly entertaining the idea of being sexually involved with another person, are seeing somebody else, or want to move forward with each other after an affair, and rediscover the path to mutual sexual satisfaction.

Do you love your body? Do you like what you see when you stand naked in front of the mirror? (Do you ever stand naked in front of the mirror?) Feel sexy, desirable, beautiful in your own skin? Or does the thought of sex with the lights on make you shiver, with embarrassed vulnerability instead of anticipatory excitement? Contact me if you want to discover your own beauty, and make the neurotic erotic.

Sexual behavior, like all of human behavior, is directly related to our beliefs and the stories we tell ourselves about who we think we are. These stories are the combined result of our experiences, social and cultural conditioning, and the mythology of our individual sexual appetite. What is your sexual narrative? How does it serve you? Contact me if you are looking for a happily ever after to your once upon a time.

Curious about kink, fetishes, or fantasies, but worried about being a freak? Getting aroused in ways that confuse or alarm you or your partner? Contact me if you want to understand where you express yourself on the sexual spectrum, and feel more comfortable with your taboos.

Are your “parts” working to your satisfaction? Are they working only in some ways but not in others? Contact me if you are experiencing erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, pain during intercourse, difficulty with arousal, or reaching orgasm.

Intimately connected to our sense of self, identity, and personal needs, sex is an opportunity to ask for what we need and want for our growth as individuals and partners. It is also an expression of our need to play, to feel alive, be creative, silly, indulgent, and spontaneous. Contact me if sex has become another thing on the todo list, and you want to remember what it’s like to play in the hay.

Sex is at its best when you and your partner are coming together in the desire of generosity, both in giving and receiving. But how to be generous when you’re stressed and tired, or feel you are already giving so much? How to be generous when the body says no while navigating the red tape of past trauma or present performance demands? Contact me if you’re ready to claim your sexual power.

About.

THE EXPERIENCE OF OUR MORTALITY.

Sexual desire is a prime motivator of human behavior. Intimately connected to our sense of self, identity, and personal needs, sex is an opportunity to ask for what we need and want for our growth as individuals and partners. But sexual desire is more than that. It’s an expression of our right to play, to feel alive, to be creative, and to transcend, if only momentarily, the experience of our mortality.

I am a licensed psychotherapist specializing in sex therapy with individuals and couples of all gender and sexual orientation. Give me a call to take steps to feel more comfortable talking about sex and expressing yourself as a sexual being.

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For more info about me and my work, head over to www.foryouaremadeofstars.com.

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    “Are you coming now Are you coming somehow Are you coming unaware Are you coming truth or dare Are you coming in my dream Are you coming to the stream Are you coming to learn Are you coming to burn Are you coming down the aisle Are you coming to stay awhile Are you coming undone Are you coming to have fun Are you coming inside Are you coming alive Are you coming to trade Are you coming to break Are you coming again Are you coming where and when Are you coming to agree Are you coming to be free…….”